Myth of Healing Alone
There are individualistic cultural stories that healing happens best in solitude: on mountaintops, in silent retreats, or deep in the woods with only books and willpower. This narrative suggests that if we can get quiet, still, and alone, we’ll finally feel okay. But what if that story isn’t the whole truth? What if the healing journey isn't meant to be taken in isolation? This deeply ingrained myth can hinder our progress, leaving us stuck and isolated in our struggles.
Most of us don’t thrive alone. Our nervous systems evolved in connection with one another. At our core, we are co-regulating creatures, and our capacity for well-being is intrinsically linked to our relationships. Our sense of safety is built through a responsive connection with a caregiver that begins at birth. As adults, this fundamental need for co-regulation continues. Healing often happens in the presence of others, not apart from them. This principle is foundational to effective therapeutic modalities like somatic therapy and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, where the presence of a caring therapist provides a container of safety and support.
Healing Isn’t Solo Work
It’s completely normal to crave solitude. Many of us, especially sensitive, neurodivergent, or chronically ill people, seek it as a form of protection. The world is often overstimulating, noisy, fast, and unkind to those who don’t fit its narrow norms. In this context, solitude can feel like a sanctuary—a place where we don't have to perform or mask. This safe space is essential and can be a powerful tool for self-recalibration.
However, over time, that safety can subtly become a wall. Without the mirror of others, it’s easy to spiral into self-blame, shame, or numbness. Connection reminds us of our inherent worth and value. It reflects who we are, how we matter, and that we were never fundamentally broken, just in pain. For those working through complex trauma or seeking support for ADHD, the consistent, non-judgmental presence of a therapist can provide the stable ground necessary to rebuild a sense of self.
Even people who seem to live happily in solitude, including artists, writers, and spiritual seekers, maintain invisible threads of connection. They engage in shared stories, rituals, and relationships that transcend physical distance. They draw inspiration from a collective human experience. These relationships show that we are always in relation with something or someone, a reality that offers profound comfort and grounding.
The Science of Connection and Joy
Research consistently demonstrates that the quality of our relationships is among the strongest predictors of long-term happiness, resilience, and even physical health. You don’t need a traditional family or a huge friend group. What truly matters is the quality of your connection, not the quantity of people in your life. The feeling of being truly seen and accepted is a powerful healing force.
What Makes a Relationship Deeply Nourishing?
Authentic Witnessing: Are you seen for who you are—your strengths, struggles, and quirks?
Emotional Safety: Do you feel safe showing up messy, tender, or unsure without fear of judgment?
Permission to Evolve: Are you allowed to change, grow, and make mistakes without the relationship being threatened?
These are the aspects of connection that matter most, and they are foundational to any effective therapy practice. A therapist offers a unique form of a relationship: one that is professionally and ethically bound to provide this kind of presence and safety.
When You’ve Always Felt “Too Much”
In my psychotherapy practice, I work with people who have spent their lives feeling like outsiders. Many have masked for years due to their neurodivergence, chronic illness, spiritual disconnection, or a history of trauma. They've often spent years trying to heal alone—they’ve read the books, tried the meditations, attended silent retreats, worked with coaches, and followed every self-help plan. And still, something feels missing.
That "something" is often compassionate witnessing. The kind that says, "You make sense." This type of witnessing doesn't rush to fix or pathologize your experience. It allows you to be while you slowly begin to feel again. This is a crucial first step in nervous system regulation, helping clients navigate overwhelming feelings of anxiety and fear. Without a safe external presence, this process can feel impossible, leading to a cycle of shame and avoidance.
Creativity as a Bridge
One of the most accessible and powerful ways to reconnect with yourself—and eventually with others—is through intuitive art journaling. You don’t need to be an artist. The purpose of this practice is not to create a masterpiece but to make marks on a page to listen to your inner world.
This practice is inherently somatic, connecting you to your body and emotions in a way that words often cannot. It is gentle, with no right or wrong way to do it. It is expressive, helping you externalize what might feel too tangled or painful to say aloud. It offers a new language for your internal landscape, a way to bypass the limitations of your cognitive mind and access deeper, intuitive wisdom. This is a primary component of art therapy, a modality that uses the creative process to explore feelings, reduce conflict, and foster self-awareness.
For those engaging in altered state work, such as ketamine-assisted psychotherapy, art journaling is an essential integration tool. After a session, you might have images, emotions, or sensations that feel chaotic and don’t make logical sense. Bringing them into form—through color, line, or collage—helps your system process and metabolize the experience. Your mind can begin to create a narrative around the insights gained, anchoring them in your daily reality.
In session, we can explore your art together. As a trained art therapist, I hold a safe and non-judgmental space for the messy, mysterious, and meaningful. Your artwork becomes a doorway not into diagnosis, but into a deeper connection with your intuitive knowing.
Practical Steps for a Connected Healing Journey
Happiness isn’t usually found in big, life-changing epiphanies. It's built over time, by accumulating small, daily moments of presence and connection. Practices that reliably grow your sense of well-being include:
Do Something Kind, Then Reflect on It
The act of kindness, whether leaving a note for a friend or making an anonymous donation, activates the reward centers in the brain. But the real magic happens when you reflect on it afterward. Writing about the experience connects the doing to a conscious sense of well-being, helping to rewire your nervous system toward joy and away from patterns of fear or scarcity. This builds a positive feedback loop.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Writing 3–5 things daily you’re thankful for is a well-researched practice for increasing happiness. A key aspect often overlooked is including gratitude for your efforts and small wins. Gratitude for your resilience, hard work, and small moments of courage matters just as much as gratitude for the world around you.
Identify and Use Your Strengths
What virtues come naturally to you? Curiosity, creativity, humor, or persistence? When you identify your core strengths and use them daily, even in small ways, it becomes easier to build authentic confidence and integrity. This practice helps you feel more aligned with your true self, reducing the need for masking and self-abandonment that is common for those with neurodivergence or complex trauma.
Celebrate Others’ Joy
When someone shares good news, respond with genuine enthusiasm if you feel it. This practice, active-constructive responding, strengthens your relationships and your brain’s happiness circuits. It trains your mind to look for and amplify positive experiences, creating a more optimistic outlook.
These practices are small but powerful. The more you consistently and compassionately practice showing up for yourself and others, the more your nervous system learns that it’s safe to be alive. This is active mindfulness and self-compassion that gradually shifts your baseline state from survival to thriving.
Relationship Repair Over Perfection
You don’t have to fix everything in yourself or others. The healthiest, most resilient relationships accept what can’t be solved. Researcher John Gottman calls these “perpetual problems.” They're not failures; they're simply part of the terrain of any long-term relationship.
Instead of trying to fix your partner, friends, or yourself, try a different approach: enjoy them. Notice what’s lovable about them, celebrate it, and say it out loud. Appreciation is one of the most healing forces on earth. This act of appreciation releases oxytocin, the "love hormone," in both people, strengthening bonds and creating a powerful buffer against stress. It shifts the focus from what's "wrong" to what's "right," which is a cornerstone of positive psychology.
Letting Go of Thought Loops
If you feel stuck at work, in a relationship, in life, it might not be the situation itself—it could be the limiting story you’re telling yourself. Not every thought deserves your full attention. Some are just passing waves of consciousness. Letting them go is a critical skill.
This doesn’t mean bypassing or denying your feelings. It means noticing when a thought pattern keeps you stuck in a cycle of rumination or self-blame. The key is to ask yourself: Is this thought helping me move toward the life I want? If not, acknowledge it, and allow it to pass without giving it power. This is a key element of mindfulness and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which can be integrated into a larger therapeutic framework.
Wherever you are now, look for what feels even a little nourishing. Follow that thread. This small act of turning toward what feels good, even in a difficult moment, helps to create a new, positive neural pathway in your brain.
You’re Allowed to Be Held
Healing doesn’t mean becoming a different person. It means coming home to the parts of you that always knew how to love, feel, and connect. It means integrating the fragmented pieces of your past to create a more whole and authentic self. This is often the focus of trauma-informed care.
You don’t have to do it alone. Through somatic therapy, community, creative expression, or spiritual practice, you are allowed to be supported. You’re allowed to be messy. You’re allowed to be in process. You don’t have to have all the answers. The true work of healing is not about achieving perfection, but about the courageous act of showing up for your messy, beautiful, and imperfect life.
If you are ready for support that honors your full self, including your sensitivities, wisdom, and weirdness, I’m honored to walk with you.
I specialize in somatic therapy, art therapy, and ketamine-assisted psychotherapy for people navigating anxiety, chronic illness, ADHD, trauma, and spiritual connection. As a dedicated therapist, I create a collaborative space for deep integration, powerful insight, and genuine connection.
Ready to begin?
Book a free consultation and let’s see what healing could look like—together.